August 30, 2018
As I’ve been capturing the most lovely weddings of some of the best clients I could ask for all summer long, I’ve also been planning my very own big day. And oh man, do I ever some wedding planning tips I wish someone had told me.
Sure, maybe the timing wasn’t the wisest (whatever I love fall) but here I am, just over a month out.
I’m excited, nervous, happy, giddy and did I mention EXCITED! It’s not that often you get to gather everyone that matters to you in one room. It’s truly special.
Here are my words of wisdom, for what they’re worth.
I’m the queen of the “if you want something done right do it yourself” philosophy. But I could have saved myself a lot of work by allowing people to help.
If your MOH says she’ll help with bridesmaid dress alternations, and your mom wants to help find a cake stand, let them. That’s what friends and family are for.
This is especially true when it comes to your betrothed. By the time I got over-whelmed and needed help from my fiancé, it would take so much more effort to explain everything to him than it would to just do it myself. So I ended up perpetuating my stress. The earlier you loop your spouse-to-be in on what’s going on, the more they can pick up the slack.
I have to say, I did pretty well on this one. Because I knew I’d be busy creating images for others, I did a pretty good job spacing out my own wedding planning.
Thank god, because as I’m discovering, there’s already enough sh*t for me to do with just a few weeks left. I can’t even imaging how I’d feel if I had left too many things to the last minute.
Of course, there are certain things you can’t do until the final weeks (seating arrangements, detailed schedules, final vendor meetings) but if I had to add on dress fittings and food tastings to that I might loose it.
Unless you’re one of those rare breeds that thrives under pressure, procrastinating does nothing else but stress you out and takes away from the excitement on the lead up. Get shit done, and get it done early.
Close friends will say they can’t make it, bridesmaids will fall short, and parents might drive you crazy. Try not to take it too personally – it’s about them, not you. I know it can be really difficult when people you thought cared don’t show up for you, but in the end it’s their loss.
But on the flip side, some people will vastly exceed your expectations, and make you feel like the luckiest girl on earth.
Your wedding is the moment to solidify your most cherished relationships, and the people who really show up for you (logistically and emotionally) are sending you a loud signal that they LOVE you. It feels amazing. And let that feeling overpower the feelings of disappointment that others will inevitably elicit.
Don’t let wedding planning consume you. Yes, it’s a really important day, but it’s not the be all and end all of your existence. Keep your hobbies, see your friends, don’t get lost in Pinterest holes while you’re supposed to be doing your actual job (guilty!), and create space for your relationship that doesn’t get intruded upon by wedding talk.
Chances are, it wasn’t so that you could have the perfect table linens or the dream shoes.
Everyone has their own reasons. Andy and I decided to have a wedding so that we could have a celebration, of not just our love, but all the people who have meant something to us, and will continue to mean something to us.
When the nitty gritty details are getting you down, remind yourself of that reason. THAT is the most important thing. If the flowers aren’t the perfect shade of burgundy, the world will keep on turning.
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